You can never expect the Unexpected!
by LPlover93
Summary: Prompt!fic. What happens when the Glee kids decide a date auction to raise money for the club and decide to bid on Kurt because no one else will? See in to find out! Between S2 and S3


This was inspired by a prompt in the Glee Angst Meme which went like this:

The Glee kids decide to do a date auction to raise money for glee club. For the sake of the fic I'd like it to be before Blaine attended McKinley.

All the guys agree to do it. But most of ND is really worried that Kurt will be made fun of when he gets up to auction. So they all agree that they'll make a bid for him so he doesn't have to stand up there forever and be humiliated.

So imagine their surprise when loads of people bid on him. A lot of the cheerios want a chance to go on a date with him because he's a sweet guy and they'd actually get a date instead of a quick meal before being felt up. The guy Cheerios bid too because they're friends with Kurt and he gave them all dating advice or something.

He ends up making a good amount of money for ND.

Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: If I had my way, Blangst would never be an existing word in the Glee Dictionary.

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Kurt came into the choir room, texting Blaine. He missed him so much. Being at McKinley was nice as he had his friends again. He could spontaneously burst into song with the confidence that at least one of his friends would back him up in vocals. They could sit and gossip all day without giving out any names but know who the other was talking about. He didn't have to control his fabulousness like he had to do at Dalton. However, it was so unfair that he had to leave Dalton just a short while after he and Blaine had confessed their feelings to each other. They never got to meet each other like Blaine had said before he had sung Somewhere Only We Know . They spoke to each other on the phone for hours on end and Skype'd each other while doing their homework at the same time. It made them feel a little bit closer.

He went and sat down on an empty chair. Mercedes and Sam had begun to become close friends. She was a sucker for imitations and Sam had a sack load of them. Well, friends were what Mercedes said, but Kurt was sure there was a sweet romance or at least puppy love brewing over there. This meant that he had to sit alone during Glee club, witness all couples flirting with one another in the cafeteria and be too mushy in general. Well, he was also that mushy, but without his counterpart, all he could do was mope.

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After Glee Club ended, Kurt went home as fast as possible so he could Skype Blaine. But the rest of the New Directions stayed back in the choir room to discuss the latest idea had for them to get more money for the Glee Club. He had proposed an auction where basically a date with every one of the members would be auctioned off. And there was a condition. The present boyfriend/ girlfriend were not allowed to bid on their respective other. Rachel removed a board and placed it on an easel. On it, the names of all the Glee Club members were written. Surprisingly this time though, her name was not at the top of the list. The Cheerio's names were there, followed by the football player's names.

Rachel started to speak, " has given the best option for making money for us, because taffy and cookies just don't work anymore. However, we must accept the fact that most of the Glee members may be auctioned for a lot of money only because they participate in extra-curricular activities other than Glee club."

Santana gave a smirk and said, "You mean, me and the Cheerio's and the football Jocks will be picked up immediately while you guys look on in despair as everyone will laugh and nudge their friend to bid on you out of pity."

Quinn said, "Actually no. As much as I hate to say it, the girls are better-looking than at least Suzy Pepper. They will at least get chosen. Only one I am SURE will not get bid on is Kurt. I mean, who wants to take the _gay _on a date?"

Finn gave her a bad look and said, "That's my brother. And he is dating Blaine, who is such an awesome dude. He even allows me to call him dude."

Quinn just shrugged, but Mercedes piped up, "As much as I know how fabulous Kurt is, none of the pussies here would ask him out because they don't want the Slushies staining their clothes."

Puck said, "Why doesn't one of us bid on him then? He will definitely be pissed at us, but that's better than him standing on the dais, all alone."

Artie shrugged sadly and said, "If Blaine and Kurt hadn't started dating yet, he would have bid as much as possible on him."

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Kurt asked, "Is it necessary for me to go there and stand like a slut waiting on a corner of the streets while everyone sniggers at me?" gave him a disapproving look and said, "Kurt, we do not use slurs like that over here. Also, don't talk about yourself like that. We do need the money for the Glee Club. But you just need to sit for dinner with the person who bids for you. I hate to say this because this thought should never have entered your mind in the first place, but you don't have be …um,…physically intimate with him." He just shrugged, saying, "Well, if someone can handle me for the starting part of a night, then I guess I can get over it."

All the Glee Club members looked at each other with sadness in their eyes but did not say anything knowing that no one but them would bid for him.

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The day finally arrived when they had to stand on the stage and not sing for the first time. Ms. Pillsbury and Coach Beiste were the teacher-coordinators for the auction. would have done it except for the fact that he still couldn't see Emma without wanting to cry. He still wasn't over her even though she had stomped all over his feelings by dating Tenaka and then Carl in front of him. All thirteen people stood there in line: Finn, Puck, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Mike, Rachel, Artie, Tina, Lauren, Mercedes, Sam and Kurt. The couples were not kept together on purpose as they would only get in the way of bidding. Santana got to stand next to Brittany as she had threatened the other members that she would go all Lima Heights Adjacent on them if they didn't let them stand together. They compromised by making her promise that they shouldn't be a joint deal and so, shouldn't hold pinkies. The whole school had assembled in front of the dais by the time they had taken their places. The curtains were closed, so no one had any idea of what was going on.

Just then, Principal Figgins took the mike and in his usual monotonous way of announcing something, "I have something special for you children today. Thirteen beautiful students are auctioning themselves for a date with any one of you who bids the most on them. Here's presenting the New Directions!"

First, there was shock, then slight laughter, but then the idiots started ogling all the girls like they were the last steak at a barbecue. The girls had started squeeing, all mesmerized by the muscles on the boys. Coach Beiste had picked up the megaphone she had borrowed from Sylvester, and she shouted into it, "Listen fellas! You won't be shouting out any money, first you'll come to me with your various bids, I'll then shout out the highest, and it can go from there. They are not pieces of meat, Azimio, I'm talking to you, dumb-head!"

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Almost immediately all cheerleaders went running to Beiste, both male and female. And all of them started shouting, "WE WANT KURT! WE WANT KURT! WE WANT KURT! WE WANT KURT! WE WANT KURT! WE WANT KURT!"

It wasn't only Kurt but the whole of New Directions who were shocked. They were so used to being in the spotlight (The Cheerios , the jocks, even Rachel had her time in the spotlight during the Britney craziness) that they didn't expect Kurt to be so famous for a date, especially because (they all said this in their head) he didn't play for the team of people here. Then Finn remembered what Kurt had said, "I'm the only one OUT in this place." He immediately put two and two together and surmised that all the male cheerleaders must be gay.

All chaos had broken out at the teacher's table. The non-cheerleaders were writing their desired dates on paper, while the Cheerios jumped over each other with their brilliant flexibility to bid the most. And then Beiste stood up finally and said, "Kurt Hummel, get off the stage! Heidi Cleary bid two hundred dollars on you for a date. The rest can stay there till I count and then choose the highest person."

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The auction finally ended after 3 hours. However, Kurt had raised the highest amount. The only one around the same amount as him was Santana and Brittany (her wish came true after all) for 150 dollars. Everyone was curious as to why all the Cheerios wanted only Kurt. They weren't inclined to believe Finn's version of it. So they stopped Brittany, who would speak in her own language, but they would understand some part of it.

Brittany just gave a bright smile, much, much different than her vacant smile and said, "My dolphin is very sweet to the Cheerios. They called themselves the Automatons like Jesse's friends. But he helped them a lot. They didn't believe only the Blonde Captain anymore. He gave us girls nice ways to keep our hands soft. He gave us complimentary packets of duck fat. See, wanna touch my skin? It's so soft..."

Rachel tittered and asked her, "And the boys? What did he do to them that they also wanted a date with him?"

Brittany giggled and said," No no no, they all aren't dolphins. My sweet baby dolphin gave them advice to woo their women, or is it wee their women? So, their happiness increased when Kurt was with them."

And the New Directions were shell-shocked that their assumptions were totally wrong.

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A/N : Thanks so so so much to my darling, my sweetheart, the love of my life, CrazySue05 who betaed this for me!


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